At first, I thought it was something in the house.<\/p>\n
Maybe spoiled food.<\/p>\n
A clogged drain.<\/p>\n
Even the garbage.<\/p>\n
But no matter how much I cleaned, the smell kept coming back.<\/p>\n
Then I noticed something strange.<\/p>\n
It only happened when my husband, Greg, walked into the room.<\/p>\n
At dinner.<\/p>\n
Watching television.<\/p>\n
Even riding in the car.<\/p>\n
It was an unbelievably awful smell.<\/p>\n
Not like ordinary body odor.<\/p>\n
It was so strong it made my eyes water.<\/p>\n
“Honey,” I said one evening as discreetly as I could, “I think something’s wrong.”<\/p>\n
He sniffed his shirt.<\/p>\n
“I don’t smell anything.”<\/p>\n
“That’s because it’s you.”<\/p>\n
He laughed.<\/p>\n
“I’m fine.”<\/p>\n
Over the next few weeks, I bought him new soap.<\/p>\n
New deodorant.<\/p>\n
A different laundry detergent.<\/p>\n
Nothing changed.<\/p>\n
The smell somehow became even worse.<\/p>\n
Finally I insisted.<\/p>\n
“We’re making a doctor’s appointment.”<\/p>\n
Greg rolled his eyes.<\/p>\n
“It’s probably nothing.”<\/p>\n
“Then the doctor can tell us it’s nothing.”<\/p>\n
A week later we arrived at the urologist’s office.<\/p>\n
The nurse called his name.<\/p>\n
Greg disappeared behind the examination room door.<\/p>\n
Five minutes later, the doctor stepped back into the hallway.<\/p>\n
His face was bright red.<\/p>\n
He pressed his lips together, obviously trying not to laugh.<\/p>\n
“Mrs. Collins…”<\/p>\n
“Could you come in here for just a moment?”<\/p>\n
My stomach dropped.<\/p>\n
I was certain they had discovered something serious.<\/p>\n
Cancer.<\/p>\n
An infection.<\/p>\n
Anything.<\/p>\n
I hurried inside.<\/p>\n
Greg stood beside the examination table looking completely embarrassed.<\/p>\n
The doctor pointed toward him.<\/p>\n
Then finally burst into laughter.<\/p>\n
“I’m so sorry…”<\/p>\n
“I’ve been a physician for twenty-eight years…”<\/p>\n
“…and I’ve honestly never seen this before.”<\/p>\n
I looked back and forth between them.<\/p>\n
“What is it?”<\/p>\n
The doctor picked up a small plastic bag.<\/p>\n
Inside…<\/p>\n
…was an old athletic cup.<\/p>\n
The kind worn for sports.<\/p>\n
I blinked.<\/p>\n
Greg stared at the floor.<\/p>\n
The doctor wiped tears from his eyes.<\/p>\n
“Your husband admitted he bought this when he joined a recreational softball league…”<\/p>\n
“…about eight months ago.”<\/p>\n
I looked at Greg.<\/p>\n
“So?”<\/p>\n
The doctor smiled.<\/p>\n
“He thought athletic cups were supposed to be worn every single day.”<\/p>\n
I frowned.<\/p>\n
“Wait…”<\/p>\n
The doctor nodded.<\/p>\n
“He has been wearing the exact same plastic cup…”<\/p>\n
“…inside his underwear…”<\/p>\n
“…every day…”<\/p>\n
“…for eight months.”<\/p>\n
Silence.<\/p>\n
Then I slowly turned toward my husband.<\/p>\n
“You never…”<\/p>\n
“…washed it?”<\/p>\n
Greg whispered,<\/p>\n
“I didn’t know you were supposed to.”<\/p>\n
The doctor completely lost it.<\/p>\n
He laughed so hard he had to sit down.<\/p>\n
Greg covered his face with both hands.<\/p>\n
“I thought it was like a helmet.”<\/p>\n
“You don’t wash football helmets every day.”<\/p>\n
The doctor finally caught his breath.<\/p>\n
“No…”<\/p>\n
“But helmets don’t spend all day…”<\/p>\n
“…there.”<\/p>\n
Even I couldn’t stop laughing.<\/p>\n
For weeks I’d imagined rare diseases.<\/p>\n
Hidden infections.<\/p>\n
Some mysterious medical condition.<\/p>\n
Instead…<\/p>\n
My husband had accidentally been fermenting an unwashed piece of sports equipment.<\/p>\n
The doctor handed Greg a brand-new brochure.<\/p>\n
“Here’s how athletic protective gear actually works.”<\/p>\n
Greg accepted it with the seriousness of someone receiving life-changing medical advice.<\/p>\n
On the drive home, neither of us spoke for several minutes.<\/p>\n
Then I glanced over.<\/p>\n
Greg looked completely defeated.<\/p>\n
“I’m never telling anyone about this.”<\/p>\n
I smiled.<\/p>\n
“I’ll make you a deal.”<\/p>\n
“I won’t tell anyone…”<\/p>\n
“…if you promise to read the instructions before wearing sports equipment.”<\/p>\n
He laughed.<\/p>\n
“Fair.”<\/p>\n
That evening he threw the old athletic cup into the trash.<\/p>\n
The smell disappeared almost immediately.<\/p>\n
A week later I bought him three new ones.<\/p>\n
Each came with its own storage bag.<\/p>\n
And attached to every bag was a handwritten label.<\/p>\n
Wash after every use.<\/strong><\/p>\n Months later, our friends invited us to join a charity softball tournament.<\/p>\n Greg politely declined.<\/p>\n When someone asked why, he smiled awkwardly.<\/p>\n “I’ve retired from protective equipment.”<\/p>\n To this day, whenever I notice an unusual smell in the house, Greg raises both hands and announces,<\/p>\n “It isn’t me!”<\/p>\n Usually…<\/p>\n He’s right.<\/p>\n Looking back, I realized the funniest part wasn’t the misunderstanding.<\/p>\n It was how quickly our imaginations had jumped to the worst possible conclusion.<\/p>\n Sometimes the answer isn’t a rare disease.<\/p>\n Or a complicated diagnosis.<\/p>\n Sometimes…<\/p>\n It’s just someone who never bothered to read the instructions.<\/p>\n And that’s a lesson worth remembering in more parts of life than one.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" MY HUSBAND SUDDENLY STARTED SMELLING SO TERRIBLE THAT IT FILLED THE ENTIRE ROOM. At first, I thought it was something in the house. Maybe spoiled food. A clogged drain. Even … <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":699,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-698","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-keang007"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/readupdatemystory.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/698","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/readupdatemystory.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/readupdatemystory.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/readupdatemystory.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/readupdatemystory.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=698"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/readupdatemystory.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/698\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":712,"href":"https:\/\/readupdatemystory.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/698\/revisions\/712"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/readupdatemystory.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/699"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/readupdatemystory.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=698"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/readupdatemystory.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=698"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/readupdatemystory.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=698"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}