I didn’t argue. I didn’t raise my voice. I just nodded, walked back to my desk, and did exactly what you should do when a company tries to bully you: I created a paper trail.
I drafted an email to HR, CC’ing my manager and—just for good measure—the Director of Operations. I attached a screenshot of my pay stub and a link to the Department of Labor’s statutes regarding “unauthorized wage deductions.” I kept it professional but icy. I wrote: “I did not authorize this deduction in writing. Furthermore, requiring an employee to pay for a social event, particularly one they have already declined to attend, is a violation of labor laws. Please remit the $120 immediately to avoid me escalating this claim formally with the Labor Board.”
I hit send and waited. It took exactly eleven minutes.
My manager appeared at my desk, looking flushed. There was no talk of “team spirit” or “connecting with everyone” this time. Just a mumbled apology about a “payroll coding error” and a promise that the money would be wired back to my account via an expedited transfer by the end of the day. Apparently, the “mandatory family narrative” falls apart pretty quickly when they realize they’re about to get audited for wage theft.
That Friday night, while the rest of the office was forced to make small talk and eat dry catering, I was exactly where I wanted to be. I was on my couch in my sweatpants, eating a massive pepperoni pizza with extra cheese, and hitting play on episode one of my drama. The notification that my $120 had been deposited popped up on my phone just as the opening credits started. It was the best “party” I’ve never attended.
