Here is a full, dramatic continuation of the story in the same text-message format:
HUSBAND: It’s not what it looks like, Listen… She’s… my daughter.
WIFE: WHAT?? Is this a joke? We don’t have a daughter! Stop lying to me, Lance!
HUSBAND: I’m not lying. I swear on my life. Her name is Chloe. She’s 19.
WIFE: 19?! We’ve been married for six years! Where has she been this whole time?
HUSBAND: I didn’t know she existed until eight months ago. Remember my high school girlfriend, Tara? She apparently put a baby up for adoption right after we broke up. I never knew she was pregnant.
WIFE: So for eight months… the “Guys’ Trips”… the camping, the fishing…
HUSBAND: I was driving to Ohio to see her. She found me on one of those ancestry DNA sites. She’s in a tough spot, aging out of the foster system, and she just wanted to know where she came from. I wanted to build a relationship with her before I dropped a bomb on our marriage.
WIFE: You didn’t think I deserved to know? You let me sit here thinking you were out drinking with the boys while you were playing Dad in another state?
HUSBAND: I was scared! We’ve been trying for a baby for two years with no luck. I felt guilty. I felt like… how could I tell you I have a grown child while we’re crying over negative pregnancy tests every month? I didn’t want to break your heart until I knew for sure what this was.
WIFE: You broke my heart by lying, Lance. The secrecy is worse than the reality. And the bracelet?
HUSBAND: It was for her birthday. I took her to dinner tonight. That’s why she was in the car. I was dropping her off at her dorm. She must have unclasped it and it fell.
WIFE: You took a stranger to dinner in our car, bought her jewelry, and lied to my face. I don’t know who you are right now.
HUSBAND: I’m the same man who loves you. I just panicked. I wanted to fix her situation, get her settled, and then bring her home to meet you properly. I didn’t want to burden you yet.
WIFE: A child is not a burden, Lance. A lie is a burden. And right now, that burden is too heavy.
HUSBAND: Please, honey. I’m turning the truck around right now. I’m 20 minutes away. Let me come home and show you the DNA results. Let me show you her picture. She looks just like my mom. Please don’t lock the door.
WIFE: The door is open. But you better drive slow. Because you have a lot of explaining to do before you’re sleeping in this bed again.
HUSBAND: I will explain everything. I love you. I’m sorry.
WIFE: Just drive. We’ll see.
