Thirty minutes later, he called, shouting, “WAS THIS YOU?! HOW DID YOU MAKE THE CAR BLAST ‘CELEBRATION’ THE SECOND I OPENED THE DOOR?!”
I couldn’t help it; a smile crept onto my face as I put him on speaker. “Max,” I said calmly, “Where exactly are you?”
“I’m at the church! Where you said the wedding was! But the doors were closed, and when I ran in with the gift, the car started blaring music, and now everyone is looking at me like I’m a monster!”
“That’s the detail you missed,” I replied, checking my lipstick in the hallway mirror while my Uber pulled into the driveway. “Since you were so adamant about not going, you stopped listening to me three days ago. You also ignored the group email update.”
“What update?!” he screamed.
“The church had a burst pipe on Thursday. The wedding was moved to the hotel downtown,” I explained. “The church isn’t empty, though. I believe today they are hosting the funeral for the Mayor’s mother. It’s a very solemn, quiet event. Or at least… it was.”
There was a moment of horrified silence on the other end, followed by the faint sound of angry mourners approaching him in the background.
“Oh no,” he whispered.
“Oh, and Max?” I added cheerfully. “Since you stole the car I need for work tomorrow, you can explain to the grieving family why you interrupted their eulogy. I’m going to the wedding. Don’t wait up.”
I hung up, grabbed my purse, and walked out the door, leaving him to deal with the karma he had driven straight into.
