My husband and I ended up having a pretty big argument over something trivial. After that, he went to work. Not wanting to mope around all day, I called up my best friend and suggested we hit the pool near her place. We got there, in good spirits, ready to order some pizza. Then, out of nowhere, I saw MY HUSBAND lounging on a sunbed about 20 meters away with some young blonde. He had HIS HAND ON HERS, looking all cozy. I was about to march over and slap him when karma stepped in. There he was, smiling and sippin…
The Confrontation
…a ridiculously oversized pink cocktail, totally lost in her eyes. My heart was pounding in my ears, and my vision went completely red. I took one furious step forward, but my best friend grabbed my arm and whispered, “Wait. Look.”
Marching aggressively toward their sunbed was a man who looked like he belonged on a professional rugby team, his face flushed purple with absolute rage. He didn’t pause. He didn’t ask questions. Before my husband could even set his fruity little drink down, the giant grabbed him by the collar of his pristine white linen shirt and launched him—phone, expensive sunglasses, and all—straight into the deep end of the pool.
The blonde immediately started shrieking, desperately trying to calm down her actual boyfriend, while my husband floundered in the water, sputtering and gasping. He frantically paddled to the edge, his hair plastered to his forehead, looking absolutely pathetic.
As he dragged himself up over the tiles, wiping the chlorinated water from his eyes, he froze.
He saw me.
I didn’t yell. I didn’t cry. I didn’t even cause a scene. I just stood at the edge of the patio, holding dead-eye contact with him. The pizza delivery guy arrived right at that moment. My best friend handed me a fresh slice of pepperoni. I took a slow, deliberate bite, gave my soaking wet, humiliated husband a tiny little wave, and turned my back on him.
By the time he finally came crawling back to the house that evening, the locks were changed and his golf clubs were out on the lawn. Sometimes, the trash takes itself out—but it’s always better when someone else throws it in the pool first.
