The Story
My children have come home from their dad’s home (he has them from Monday to this morning). His gf of 7 months dropped them off at mine and told me they are grounded and are not allowed to go trick or treating tonight. As she done a punishment now I have to enforce it. To show the kids we are working as a united front. (Her words.)
I asked her what they have done to get grounded from trick or treating. She said they weren’t listening yesterday at all to her and made a huge mess that could have been avoided. And as a result, they are not allowed to go trick or treating. My children were crying their eyes out over this. I asked her exactly what did they do, as telling me they weren’t listening and making a mess isn’t good enough. My children are 5 and 3. My 5-year-old has a horribly short attention span. He can’t focus on a lot and you need to remind him like 10 times to brush his teeth (and he still ends up playing with the tap halfway through).
She rolled her eyes, sighed heavily, and said, “They tipped a brand new, family-sized box of cereal all over the kitchen floor and then laughed when I yelled at them to clean it up. They need to learn that actions have consequences.”
I stared at her, genuinely speechless for a few seconds. “They are three and five,” I said, keeping my voice dangerously quiet so the kids wouldn’t get more upset. “Spilling cereal is an accident. Laughing is a toddler stress response because you were yelling at them. Grounding preschoolers from Halloween—a holiday they have been talking about for three months—is not a consequence. It’s just cruel.”
“But we need to be a united front,” she repeated, crossing her arms defensively.
I stepped closer to the door. “You and their father need to figure out age-appropriate discipline on your own time. But in this house, I am their mother. You do not get to drop them off and dictate what happens under my roof, especially not a vindictive punishment for a minor toddler mess.”
I shut the door in her face before she could argue. I turned around to my two sobbing babies, dropped to my knees, and wiped their tears. “Guess what?” I whispered. “Go get your costumes. We’re going to get so much candy.”
Their little faces absolutely lit up. We went out, they had the time of their lives, and I got a furious text from my ex halfway through the night accusing me of “undermining his household.”
I just replied: “Next time, you drop them off yourself. And if your girlfriend ever tries to cancel my children’s childhood experiences over spilled cereal again, we will be revisiting the custody agreement.” Blocked for the night.
